20x Safer: Why Unglamorous Businesses Create Millionaires

TL;DR

• SBA loan analysis: 10 years of data shows septic services (0.3% default) vs electronics stores (6.7%)—boring beats sexy by 20x

• 5 live opportunities: Miami septic ($3.2M), Arizona lab ($1.55M), Seattle vet ($1M-5M), NC parking business ($225K), Missouri RV resort ($4.3M)

• The edge: Essential services with regulatory moats consistently outperform glamorous businesses. Plus your listings aggregator →

Consider this counterintuitive data point: businesses that deal with human waste have a 0.3% failure rate. Meanwhile, that trendy electronics store you're considering? 6.7% chance of going under.

That's a 20x difference—a margin of safety that would make Benjamin Graham smile.

After spending the last month diving deep into SBA loan data covering thousands of businesses over a decade, what emerged challenges everything we think we know about "good" business acquisitions.

The $3 Million Wake-Up Call

Let's talk about Dan Spracklin from the podcast Acquiring Minds.

Dan acquired a septic pumping business doing $1M annually, then grew it to $3M with 30% margins in 2 years.

His secret? He bought a business that literally nobody else wanted.

"First time I ever saw a septic tank was the day I started with the company as the new owner," says Dan.

But Dan's not alone. Across America, a secret class of millionaires is emerging from the most unlikely places: veterinary clinics, testing laboratories, warehouses, and yes, septic services.

They're getting rich off businesses that would make your MBA professor cringe.

The Data That Changes Everything

The SBA's loan performance data reads like a comedy sketch about risk assessment:

The Ultra-Elite (Under 1% Default Rate):

• Septic tank services: 0.34%

• Elementary schools: 0.51%

• General warehousing: 0.55%

• Wineries: 0.63%

• Recreational goods rental: 0.67%

• Distilleries: 0.82%

• RV parks: 0.87% (see listing below)

The Steady Performers (1-2% Default Rate):

• Veterinary services: 1.27% (see listing below)

• Law offices: 1.26%

• Architecture firms: 1.03%

• Optometrists: 1.35%

• Dental practices: 1.44%

• Testing laboratories: 1.68%

Popular Businesses Everyone Should Avoid:

• Full-service restaurants: 3.82%

• Limited-service restaurants: 4.00%

• Electronics retailers: 6.67%

• Clothing stores: 3.59%

• Shoe retailers: 5.25%

The pattern becomes clear when you study the data: the more Instagram-worthy your business, the more likely it is to fail.

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Why Your Brain Is Sabotaging Your Wealth

We systematically undervalue opportunities that fail to trigger our enthusiasm. What appears mundane often proves most profitable:

What we're drawn to:

• The craft brewery (where we'll host meaningful events)

• The boutique hotel (with its obvious lifestyle appeal)

• The trendy restaurant (positioning us as community tastemakers)

What consistently generates wealth:

• The industrial supplies warehouse

• The septic pumping route

• The testing laboratory

• The veterinary clinic

Our cognitive bias toward excitement consistently undermines our financial judgment.

Real Opportunities You Can Buy Today

Speaking of septic services, here's a perfect example from the thousands of opportunities analyzed daily. A Miami septic company with 65 years of history just hit the market:

🚽 Septic Tank Company For Sale → View Listing

• 📍 Miami, FL

• 💰 Price: $3.2M

• 💼 Cash Flow: $753K

• 📊 Revenue: $2.8M

With 80% repeat customers and a master septic license included, this is exactly the type of "boring goldmine" smart buyers target.

🐕 Veterinary Hospital For Sale → View Listing

• 📍 Seattle, WA

• 💰 Price: $1M-$5M

• 💼 Cash Flow: $500K-$2.5M

• 🏥 30+ Years Established

• 🌟 Strong Urban Village Demand

This self-sustaining practice has satisfied clients and desires to retire. Perfect for a vet or qualified operator.

🚌 Ozarks RV Park For Sale → View Listing

• 📍 Missouri

• 💰 Price: $4.3M

• 🏕️ Multiple Revenue Streams

• 🌟 Near Major State Parks

This established resort benefits from RV parks' low default rate (0.87%) from multiple income streams from cabin rentals, RV sites, and amenities.

The Three Moats Nobody Talks About

Moat #1: The "Nobody Wants to Do This" Moat

This is bigger than just septic services. Here's who else benefits:

• Funeral homes (0.96% default rate): Death makes people uncomfortable

• Solid waste collection (1.12%): Literally garbage

• Testing laboratories (1.68%): So boring people fall asleep explaining what they do

• Portable toilet rental (1.5%): Infrastructure for temporary events

• Crime scene cleanup (1.2%): A necessary service in a complex world

The worse it sounds at a cocktail party, the better the business fundamentals.

Moat #2: The "Red Tape" Moat

Regulations that make MBAs cry create millionaires:

• Distilleries (0.82%): Federal licensing nightmare = limited competition

• Medical testing labs (1.68%): FDA oversight = pricing power

• Hazardous waste handling (1.3%): EPA permits = guaranteed profits

• Schools (0.51%): Accreditation = multi-generational wealth

• Skilled nursing facilities (1.69%): Healthcare regulations = steady income

Every regulation is a barrier to entry. Every barrier to entry is a profit protector.

Take this Arizona testing laboratory currently for sale:

🧪 Specialty Laboratory For Sale → View Listing

• 📍 Arizona (100% Remote Operations)

• 💰 Price: $1.55M

• 💼 Cash Flow: $535K

• 📊 Revenue: $1.37M

This certified lab specializes in genetic testing with clients across the country. Perfect for someone who wants the stability of a regulated business without the glamour.

Moat #3: The "When It Breaks, You Can't Wait" Moat

These businesses have pricing power because customers have no choice:

• Septic services: Try negotiating when your yard is flooding

• Emergency veterinary: Your dog can't wait for a Groupon

• Commercial refrigeration repair: Restaurant loses $10K/day when freezers fail

• Data recovery services: "I'll pay anything to get those files back"

• Towing services: Nobody comparison shops from the highway shoulder

Desperation creates pricing power. Pricing power creates wealth.

The Counterintuitive Laws of Boring Business

Law #1: If It Hasn't Changed in 50 Years, It's Goldmine Material

The best businesses are technologically frozen in time:

• Funeral homes: Same service since ancient Egypt

• Warehouses: Big boxes storing stuff

• Septic services: Gravity still works the same way

• Veterinary clinics: Dogs still get sick

• Testing labs: Microscopes and protocols

• Parking garages: Cars need spots

No disruption = no competition from venture-backed startups.

Here's a prime example of recession resistant: a parking lot maintenance business

🅿️ Parking Lot Maintenance Business For Sale → View Listing

• 📍 North Carolina

• 💰 Price: $225K

• 💼 EBITDA: $274K

• 📊 Revenue: $922K

• 🏢 National Accounts (25+)

Churches, hospitals, schools, shopping centers—they all need parking lot maintenance. High margins, low employee count, and the owner doesn't even work in the field.

Law #2: The Worse the Yelp Reviews, The Better the Returns

This observation sounds counterintuitive, but the data supports it:

• Towing companies: Everyone hates them (2.15% default rate)

• Parking operations: Universally despised (1.8% default rate)

• DMV services: Misery incarnate (1.2% default rate)

• Waste management: Constant complaints (1.12% default rate)

• Government contractors: Bureaucratic nightmares (1.5% default rate)

When studied over time, businesses that customers actively dislike but cannot avoid demonstrate remarkable resilience. Bad reviews combined with essential services create captive customer bases—and captive customers generate sustainable profits.

Law #3: B2B Infrastructure Crushes B2C Dreams

Consumer-facing businesses often become exercises in vanity. Infrastructure businesses consistently generate returns:

• Industrial supplies wholesale (0.87%) beats any retail store

• Commercial equipment rental (1.61%) beats consumer rentals

• B2B software (0.78%) beats consumer apps

• Commercial cleaning (1.4%) beats residential

• Freight logistics (1.73%) beats moving companies

The underlying principle: businesses pay invoices systematically; consumers negotiate relentlessly.

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The Opportunity in Plain Sight

The market presents a curious paradox. While traditional investment wisdom chases growth and glamour, the most reliable wealth creation happens in unglamorous sectors with predictable demand.

Consider the disparity: tech entrepreneurs chase venture capital for years while septic service owners collect steady cash flow from day one. Startups pivot desperately searching for product-market fit while testing laboratories serve the same customers for decades.

Dan Spracklin discovered this firsthand. Today he operates from an office, managing a business worth millions. "As the owner, he's not doing the pumping himself. His is mostly an office job," he explains.

The data reveals what many suspect but few act on: sustainable businesses rarely make headlines, but they consistently make millionaires.

What's Available Right Now

Every week, profitable businesses in these sectors change hands. Veterinary clinics whose owners want to retire. Testing laboratories ready for new leadership. Warehouses whose founders are ready to step back. Septic services seeking succession plans.

These aren't distressed sales or turnaround situations. They're profitable enterprises with established customer bases, predictable cash flows, and growth potential that remains largely untapped.

The fundamentals remain unchanged: essential services, regulatory moats, and limited competition create wealth more reliably than innovation cycles and market timing.

The choice becomes straightforward—pursue the predictable path to wealth creation, or continue searching for the next big thing while reliable opportunities pass by.

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